Little Johnny's family was supposed to stay the night at a hotel, and there was a screw-up with the rooms. Grandpa had to sleep in the same bed as Little Johnny.
In the middle of the night Grandpa woke up and shouted: "Quick! Get me a woman! Fast!!"
Little Johnny moaned: "Please, Grandpa, calm down. First, it's three o'clock in the morning, and you'll never find a woman at this hour. Second, you're 82 years old, and third, that's MY dick you're holding... not yours."