A skinny alligator was sitting beside a fat alligator beside the swamp near Washington, D. C. The plump gator asked the skinny gator, "What's the matter, Tommy? I don't understand why you're so skinny. We're the same age, we grew up together. I don't get it." "Well," said the skinny gator, "I eat politicians, same as you." "Hmm. Well, where do you catch 'em?" "At the other side of the swamp, near that parking lot." "Me, too. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?" "Well, I crawl up under the driver's door of a Lexus and wait for someone to unlock it, then I jump out, grab 'em by the leg, shake the shit out of 'em until they're dead, drag 'em back here to the swamp, and eat 'em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I see your problem. Once you shake the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase!"