A man had a large tapeworm and, despite the advances of modern medicine, no doctor could remove it without surgery. The man, afraid of surgery, continued to suffer until a friend recommended an "alternative" doctor, trained in the ways of the old country. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he went to the doctor. "I can cure your tapeworm in three visits," said the shaman. "Drop your pants and bend over the examination table." First, he hammered a hard-boiled egg up the man's ass, WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! Five minutes later, he hammered a cookie up his ass, WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! "Come back tomorrow at the same time," said the doctor. Against his better judgment, the man did. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! went the egg. Five minutes later, WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! went the cookie. "Now come back tomorrow for your final cure!" The next day, the man returned, assumed the by-now familiar position and WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! up went the egg. Then the doctor waited five minutes, but did not insert the cookie. Six minutes passed, seven minutes passed, finally, eight minutes later, the tapeworm stuck his head out of the man's ass and yelled, "Hey! Where's my cookie?!" as the doctor brought the hammer down, WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!