Little Johnny was squirming around in his seat, scratching his crotch and not paying attention to his teacher, so she went back and asked him what was the matter. He replied that he had poison ivy down there and it was very itchy. She sent him to the principal's office to phone his mother. He did and then returned to class, only to create even more of a commotion. She investigated and found Little Johnny sitting there with his penis hanging out of his zipper. "I thought I told you to phone your mother," she said in a stern voice. "I did," he replied, "and she told me that if I just could stick it out till noon, she'd pick me up then!"