The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walking round his new parish, after leaving his wife in bed with the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack of cigarettes.
One of the old villagers came up to him and said. "Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?"
The Vicar said, "Good morning my man, I am fine, the wife is fine also as I left her in bed smoking."
The villager said, "Arr, Vicar, that's the way to fuck 'em!"